Through the years, my own life coach has been hard at work helping me identify tolerations that sap my energy and hold me back. Of course, she was the instructor but still, who knew there was a Plan with a capital P to attack and destroy pesky tolerations.
We grow to tolerate different things for different reasons. The trick is to identify whether you are tolerating situations in your life. How can you tell? Maybe a stiffening of the body—in the neck or shoulders is common. Maybe a clenching of the jaw. A stomach pain.
What situations are you tolerating that sap your energy? Do you put up with tolerations in order to avoid a confrontation? Who are you being nice to when you do that? Certainly not yourself! Are you tolerating a situation that you think you can do nothing about? Just being aware of these things can help lead to a change. Or at least can make you aware that you are not willing to waste your energy on tolerating that particular situation any longer.
I picture tolerations as sneaky little creatures with long tentacles that invade the calm spaces of your life so there is no peace. Who wants that? That’s why as life coaches in training, we focus on how to quit tolerating things that bother us.
When we were asked in my life coaching class to make a list of tolerations, I made a lighthearted note that I didn’t like my hotel room. Our facility was very nice, but my room was far away from everything except the noisy freeway. The dingy room was also very tiny and musty. Since the hotel was completely booked, I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Even so I wrote it down for my class assignment and that was that.
The next morning as I walked to class I passed an open hotel room that was being cleaned. It was beautiful! It overlooked the garden, was a few doors down from our classroom and was much more spacious. I asked the attendant about the room, but he thought it had already been booked since it was a handicap-accessible room. Not to be deterred, I went straight to the front desk and inquired about room 204. I loved room 204. I wanted room 204. I knew I was wasting my time. The hotel was fully booked and I wouldn’t be able to change rooms.
Guess what? Later that afternoon the crew moved me to room 204. The remainder of the three week stay was comfortable and wonderful. My upgrade would not have happened if I hadn’t been aware that I was tolerating that old musty, tiny, dark, noisy room. Yay for room 204! And yay for not tolerating our tolerations.
2015 is almost here. In place of a New Years Resolution I challenge you to:
1) Identify one toleration in your life.
2) Find the stress point in your body when you think of the toleration.
3) In 90 days zip me an email and let me know what happened.
Blessings to you and your loved ones for the fantastic year ahead!